Beautiful Secret
by Renthead015
Summary: Many people have experienced a miserable heartbreak.  This is Tori Vega's recollection of when she was in love with someone she couldn't have because they were paired with someone else.


**Author's Note: This is my first attempt at writing fan fiction and it's just a one-shot. I have written other stories before but not about my favorite tv shows. Please review and let me know what you think. Only constructive criticism please, no flames. We can all be civil.**

**Oh! I do NOT own Victorious or any of the characters in this fic. They belong to Nickelodeon and the god that is Dan Schneider.**

**Enjoy :)**

My name is Tori Vega and I have a confession to make.

People always say that teenagers are too young to know anything about love. They say there is no possible way we can understand what it means to be in love or to actually care about someone other than ourselves. Well they are wrong.

We teenagers become a nervous wreck when we are interested in someone; sometimes to the point of being a bumbling idiot. When we finally get to that point where we are in a relationship it is like the happiest time of our lives. We can feel the warmth that envelops us as we fall for someone. Then comes the heartbreak. You cannot say a teenager does not know the meaning of love if we are fully capable of feeling heartbreak.

If you have experienced a heartbreak so painful it makes you sick to your stomach you have been in love. I did not think I would survive through my first true heartbreak but that is why I'm sharing my story with you; I did survive through it.

When I first came to Hollywood Arts I knew it would be a life changing experience little did I know it would be in more ways than I'd planned. I didn't plan on falling in love with someone who was unavailable to me. I didn't plan on getting my heart broken to the point that I did not want to go to school for fear of seeing the person I loved roaming around without a care in the world.

Our group of friends got along well and we always seemed to be there for each other whenever it was most needed. Andre, Beck, Cat, Jade, Robbie, and I were instantly the go to group whenever a teacher needed an impromptu performance or when Sickowitz just needed a favor. As dependable as we were we had our flaws as well. Robbie had always had a huge crush on Cat and whenever she would bring around a new boyfriend he became a miserable wreck. Andre always had a soft spot for women and would often pay for it literally with his wallet. I had my fair share of loser boyfriends coming in and out of my life as well. However, through it all Beck and Jade seemed to be inseparable. Of course they had their fights every now and then but everyone around them could see how much they loved each other. Including me.

It was our senior year of high school and everyone was having the best time: Andre had signed a contract with a music producer to make an EP after high school, Cat and Robbie had finally hooked up and were going strong just like Beck and Jade, and I was ready to go off to the college of my choice anywhere in the country. Through all of this our friendship was still strong, except there was one change in our dynamic, my crush.

I had been crushing on the same person for a while and no one else knew about it. I knew I couldn't tell anyone because this person was our friend and was taken. I would never split up a relationship for my own selfish needs (not including the whole Cat and Danny situation). They weren't just any couple either, they were the Hollywood Arts couple, Beck and Jade.

During senior year of high school I was spending more and more time with the entire group including Beck and Jade and as time went on I noticed that my crush was blossoming into an obsession. I knew I was falling in love and I was falling hard. I knew I had to tell somebody but I was afraid of what they would think. Robbie would probably rat me out and Cat would definitely tell Robbie. Andre would understand what I was going through but he might use me as a muse for one of his songs. That left Beck and Jade the two people that had the most at stake if I were to confess my true feelings.

I decided not to tell anyone and carried the secret with me even though it killed me to see them together every day and know that I would never have that love. Everyone looked at Beck and Jade as the ideal couple that were sure to last an eternity together. Why would I want to ruin that? I became more miserable throughout what was supposed to be the best year of my life. My friends noticed the change in me and would always ask me what was wrong. It hurt the most looking Beck in the eyes and telling him I was fine.

Months had passed and our Hollywood Arts graduation had finally arrived. We were all so excited to finally graduate and enter the 'real world' as the adults liked to call it. We were also sad because we knew that no place could come close to Hollywood Arts; it was truly the best experience of our lives. I was happy but at the same time I felt like I had this heavy weight weighing me down. I knew that there was no way I could be as ecstatic as everyone else because of my secret. That's when I decided that I was going to confess. I was going to confess my love even though I knew we couldn't be together.

I decided that I would do it at the graduation party Andre was throwing that night. There were a lot of people their so my courage began to dissipate. I was not afraid of being rejected, just the humiliation that would come if everyone knew about my feelings. The party went on through midnight and it was about 1:00 am when most of the people were gone and I saw Beck and Jade get up to leave. I knew that was my last chance or I would never have down it.

I walked over to the couple and asked Jade if I could have a minute alone with her to talk about something. She was a little peeved because she was ready to leave but went along with me anyway. I was extremely nervous as we walked into Andre's bedroom, but I knew it was now or never. After I closed the door I watched her cross her arms and lean her weight on one leg while locking the other straight.

"What's up Vega?"

I tried to use humor to defuse the situation.

"Does something have to be 'up' for me to want to talk to you?"

"Just spit it out."

"Okay." I was really nervous at this point. "Jade as long as I've known you, you and Beck have been the ideal couple. I wish I could have what you guys have."

"Please tell me you didn't bring me in here to praise my relationship."

"Wha- No! I just wanted to let you know that I would never want to jeopardize our friendship within our group, or your relationship."

She slowly dragged out the word, "Okay. What's going on?" At this point she looked very suspicious.

"Nothings going on. It's just that I have a confession to make." There was a long silence as she suspiciously waited for me to continue so I did, "I am…in love…with…you."

I watched her expression change from suspicion to surprise. I decided that I said my peace and we should probably just go our separate ways before she mauled me like a bear.

"Okay. I just really needed to get that off my chest, but I guess I should get going so-"

"Jade?" We could hear Beck coming down the hall looking for Jade probably so that they could get going. Jade's eyes snapped to the door, then scanned me but snapped back to the door after. After a moment of indecision she made her way to the door.

I was so nervous because I didn't know if she would go off and tell everyone or if she still planned on punching me in the face when I least expected it. Before she opened that door she turned around and took the two steps back toward me. Before I knew what was happening she grabbed the back of my head and brought my lips down onto hers hard. While the kiss was hard and passionate her lips were soft and full as they moved over my own. I wanted to deepen the kiss but before I could she pulled away.

I opened my eyes, that had closed sometime during the kiss, and I looked into her eyes questioningly. As she looked into my eyes she said, "I love you too," and began to leave the room. When she opened the door she turned to me and said, "but I love Beck just as much."

My heart had filled with hope then broken in that moment but I would not take it back. I will never forget my first love and I still see her from time to time. It doesn't hurt to see her with Beck anymore but when we do see each other I see the knowledge in her eyes that can only be reflected in my own. It will forever be our lovely secret.


End file.
